Joke jokes
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
My life, there, that was the joke.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?
Fruit punch.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?