Joke

Joke jokes

Homicide

I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.

Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"

Russia

I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.

Guy

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer?

Rocket League!

(Ali A Intro)

I like men.

Wanna smash?

Suck my balls.

I'm in class as I'm posting this ass joke.

This joke sucks terribly.

Honestly just like and leave.

Add me on discord.

IceyTrae#2230

Lebron>MJ

Perv

What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?

Alien vs. Predator.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because his parents couldn’t help him out!

Look

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

Child

What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?

The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.

Zoo

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

Lion

What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.

Jesus

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

Toilet Paper

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

Nut

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

School

What is the difference between a tree and a school?

A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.

Whore

What do condoms and whores have in common?

Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.

Nun

Why do nuns go around in pairs?

So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!