Joke jokes
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
I have a skeleTON of jokes, but none of them are very humorous.
Why did Mimi cross the road?
She had cancer.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.
In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.
In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.