Joke jokes
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
Bro wtf is all this!?
Like fr tho none of this be funny... messed up af to joke abt sum shii that ppl go thru.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
Why couldn't the dinosaur clap? They're dead!
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.