Joke jokes
Why did the pillow cross the road?
To get to a mattress store!
What’s the difference between morbid humor and dark humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in one trash can, and morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
What's the Twin Towers' most favorite band? Al Qaedirection.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when kids get it.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Have you seen the movie "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
Wanna hear a joke?
Your face.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.
Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”
Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Cancer jokes really grow on you--unlike the patients' hair.