Joke jokes
How do rappers freshen their breath?
With a MICRO-MINT!
This website contains no jokes, only THE FINGER.
What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?
"No, my cock!"
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
Why did Iran, ran?
Iran said, "I ran away!"
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.