Joke jokes
Why did the butt smell so bad? Because he didn’t have a nose! AND HE FARTED TOO!
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Say, "Crack my fingers."
Now say that backwards...
What was a pedophile's hardest thing? Fitting in!
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.