Joke jokes
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!
Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.
Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?
Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.
Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.
Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.
Brother 2: You monster.
Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?
Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.
Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.
Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!
Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.
Brother 1: Found them.
*imaginary mother and brother fade away*
Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.
Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Where do the Borg eat fast food?
Borger King.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Dark humor is like a child with cancer...
Never gets old.
Why did the fat rape victim cross the road?
To block traffic.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
What is harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.