Joke

Joke jokes

Kid

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

Pterodactyl

Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?

Random person: I don't know.

No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!

Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.

Period

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

Blonde

Why did the blonde run outside naked?

She thought the steam was a gas leak.

Baby

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 9 because my basement is still dark.

Brick

There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.

Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.

Monkey

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

Penguin

A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.

Pedophile

What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.

Woman

Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.

Boot

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂

Girl

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

Fruit

Fruit is like ex-wives.

They both look really good hanging from a tree.

Chef

Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!