Joke

Joke jokes

Monkey

  • Monkey: What ya doing?

    Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

    Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

  • 0
  • Water

  • Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?

    Because it has at least one hundred degrees.

    Road

  • Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?

    Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

    Ted Danson

  • What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

    What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

    What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

    What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

    What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

    Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

    I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

  • 2
  • Queef

  • What is a queef?

    Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

  • 0
  • Watermelon

  • What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

    One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

  • 0