Joke jokes
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
I was using my computer one time and I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete, and Stephen Hawking went into a deep sleep.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
Why didn't the two 4's feel like dinner?
Answer: Because they already ate.
Why did I make this joke?
Because I love jokes!
One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
Really Karen?
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."