Joke jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it’s too terrible.
Hi, how are you? Are you good?
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.