Joke jokes

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hang ‘em?”

Why can’t dinosaurs clap? They’re all dead.

What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?

A Mac Daddy Pro.

What do you call an ugly, grey thing?

Cinderelephant!

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

Do you want to hear three jokes?

Joke Joke Joke.

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?

Well..... neither has he.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"

What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?

The book has papers.

What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

Error.

Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.