Joke jokes
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
I went, I saw, I poop at hole. I make a portal.
My dick.
1 + 1 = window.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Your dad.
What do you call a dead hooker?
It doesn't matter, she won't answer you.
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
This is a Cuphead joke.
Why did the clown drive over the cup? Cuz he wanted to CRACK him up!
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards". It is cool.
A man sits in a bar and gets seriously drunk to the point where he vomits on his shirt. He panics.
The bartender asked, "What's wrong, sir?"
The man replies, "I got drunk and vomited, my wife will kill me."
The bartender says, "Put $20 in the shirt and say someone puked on you and they paid you for the wash."
So the man walks out with the $20 he put in his shirt pocket. The next day, the wife said, "Why is there vomit on your shirt?"
The man says, "Someone puked on me and gave me $20 bucks for the wash."
The wife pulls out the money. "There is $40," says the wife.
"Oh, he also peed on me and paid for the wash, too." The man walks away believing he didn't get caught by his wife.