Joke jokes
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.
What’s the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
Why did the bike fall over?
'Cause it was wheely tired.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!