Joke jokes
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What's the best thing about having sex with a 26-year-old?
There's 20 of them.
2019 Senior Prank: Hey fellas, let's black out the school. Haha, we're so sneaky, oh yes!
2020 Senior Prank: Hey guys, I'm a tech whiz, let's spread a rumor on the internet saying a disease called the corona virus exists! Haha, it'd be so funny and good, even the whole world might fall for it!
Everyone in December 2020 looks at tech whiz: "...you son of a b*tch!!!"
Tech whiz: "You guys are the a**holes! I mean you fell for it for a whole year!"
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
The homophobes writing these jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.