Joke jokes
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
I can't put it down.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.