Joke jokes
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?
"Just beat it."
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why did the music teacher need a ladder to reach the really high notes?
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.