Joke jokes
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Why can't orphans buy chips?
Because they're family sized!
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because the chip was family size.
You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?