Joke jokes
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!