Joke jokes
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
What do you call a paralyzed kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
Chuck Norris died, but Death was too afraid to tell him.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
Why did the orphan turn gay?
A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."
There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Why is the number 10 always scared?
Answer: He’s in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"