Joke

Joke jokes

Cheetah

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

Height

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

Cricket

If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

Orphan

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Number

If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, then why was 10 afraid?

'Cause it was right in the middle of 9/11.

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Pirate

Why don't pirates take a shower before walking the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

Chicken

Why’d the chicken cross the road?

To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!

“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”

Baby

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Clown

What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?

Stopping it with a pitchfork.