I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
Joke Jokes
Why did the dog cause the fight?
Because it was a bulldog.
I'm a bot, so coolllll!
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
...
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "How?"
"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now."
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Give a man a plane ticket and he flies for the day.
Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
