Joke jokes
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Memes
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.