Joke jokes

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

"Yellow and far apart."

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

"Together we can stop this shit."

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

Many soles were lost.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

Because they are full of ears!

Now that was a corny joke.

And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.

He orders a drink.