Joke jokes
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it's not coming anyways.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
I FAMOUS NOW GUYS
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭