Joke jokes
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Why do orphans have only 363 days in their calendar year?
Because they don't have father's and mother's days.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.
Why can't orphans have chips? Because it's family size.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
What does the "f" in "orphan" stand for? It stands for family.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What’s the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator won’t fart when you pull the meat out.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.