Joke jokes
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
Memes
What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.