Joke jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Hey, what are those things on your arms? They look like cuts. Wait, what? No, it's just marker. Nothing else...
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma bum crack!
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
I FAMOUS NOW GUYS
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
How to write a joke?
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.