Joke jokes
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
A blind person walks into a bar.
Because they can’t see where they are going.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
I don't know, I don't have one.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
Why is 10 scared of 11 and 9? Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
I wasn't going to tell another emo joke, but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.