Joke jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
The only joke here is the topic.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a unregistered six offender.
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
Jokes...
Bad joke: Why is it easy to bully orphans? Because what are they going to do, tell their parents?