Joke jokes

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”

Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

It's not rape if you're both crying.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"

The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"

"Yellow and far apart."

Why did the Chinese woman hang up? Because she Wang the Wong number.

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?

"Together we can stop this shit."

Vagina jokes aren't funny.

Most of the time.

So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

Because they are full of ears!

Now that was a corny joke.

And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.

He orders a drink.

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"

The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."

The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."

This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭