Joke jokes
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."
Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Vagina jokes aren't funny.
Most of the time.
So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
Many soles were lost.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."