Joke jokes
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
We gotta keep it goin' ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
This text does not contain a joke.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.