Joke jokes

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

Me: I have lost it.

Random: Lost what?

Me: My will to live.

What did a cannibal have as his last meal?

Five guys.

How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?

You’re dead if the rubber breaks.

What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?

A liar.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.

What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?

Optimistic.

What's worse than a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.

What do you call an alligator with a vest?

An investigator.

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”