What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Joke Jokes
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?