Joke jokes
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."
You look pretty today... April Fools!
What do you call an emo's face?
Elmo's son.
I don't really understand 9/11 jokes, but they eventually hit me like a plane.
Why did the joke die?
Because it's a meme!
Were you born on the streets? Because that's where most accidents happen.
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!