Joke jokes
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?
"You're breathtaking."
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.