Joke jokes
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
What do Americans call high school?
A shooting range.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it always comes back.
"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."
"Left, center, right, and apolitical, also skeptical, are also a joke."
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What do you call a deer that has no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.