Joke

Joke jokes

Teeth

I've been drinking from a tall cup.

His teeth look like Twin Towers, Al-Qaeda blown him up.

Emo

An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.

Who hit the ground first?

The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.

Crash

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Orphan

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

Orphan

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to finish his essay, or the teacher was gonna whoop his fat butt cheeks!

Mom

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

Wheelchair

I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Dollar

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

Grave

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

Nut

What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?

“I’m gonna cashew!”