The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What did one ghost say to the other?
"Get a life!"
Orphanage protest jokes here!
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!
The other person: Who?
You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
What did the boy say to his brother at chemistry class?
"Hey BrO!"
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
I sat down and wrote a joke.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
I sit because I can't stand you.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
