Joke jokes
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.