Joke jokes

Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?

I came on for an orphan joke.

Then I realized they are a joke.

I don't have a joke. Keep looking.

What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?

Carlos.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A dragon.

A dragon who?

The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

Your hairline and the universe have one thing in common: they’re yet to be discovered.

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Why do-- wait, what am I saying? What am I talking about?

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.

Hi, I’m Joe.