Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Joke Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ididap!
Ididapoo!!
Why did the cow cross the road? To go to the moooooovies! Nyahahahahahahahahaha!
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeño business!
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.
What's sticky and brown? A stick!
