Joke jokes
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Q: What did one atom say to the other?
A: I have my ion you.
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Q: Why didn't the skeleton laugh at the joke?
A: He broke his funny bone!