Joke jokes
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?
What did the woman say when I told a rape joke?
"I don't get it."
Roses are red, violets are blue, most of your jokes are stolen, is not original to you.