Joke

Joke jokes

Mirror

Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.

Them: You're ugly.

Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.

Book

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

Skeleton

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

Papyrus

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Baby

What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?

Stopping it with the shovel!

Female

What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

Bunny

A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"

The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"

The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"

The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"

The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"

Disease

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

Body

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

Suicide

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

Cancer

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.