I have a really good construction joke.
But I'm still working on it.
Joke Jokes
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.
You are all going to be pun-ished!
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
