Joke jokes

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

The world's first microwaves.

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?

"My bum hurts!"

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

What do you call a blank piece of paper?

Women's rights.

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Knock, knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Not your parents!

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?

What do you call a selfie of an orphan?

A family photo.

Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?

Me: I'm just BONELY.

Sans: Good one kiddo.