Joke jokes
At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I walk 5 miles each day.
But today I ran OVER 5 miles... oops!
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
My aunt worked as a human cannonball.
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.
Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
I have a really good construction joke.
But I'm still working on it.
I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.