Joke jokes

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.

What do classical musicians do when they die?

They decompose.

Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!

Me: hee hee egypt.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

What do you call a Chinese baby?

Sum Ting Wong.

I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

The Stigg is a joke.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.

What mental disorder do all Mexicans have?

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Who needs April Fool's when your life is a joke?

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"