Joke

Joke jokes

9/11

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

Dog

Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?

Her dog was blind, too.

Meme

Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*

Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*

Me: Well, shit.

Salad

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

Boyfriend

What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?

"Do you need help packing your shit?"

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  • Difference

    What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

    I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

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  • Skeleton

    What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

    Cow

    What did the cow say to the sheep?

    ā€œMoo!ā€

    What did the sheep say to the cow?

    ā€œThat was a bad joke!ā€

    Uranus

    Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.

    Bedtime

    How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

    The big hand is on the little hand!

    Contest

    I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

    Vampire

    What does a lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

    "Same time next month?"

    Syndrome

    What number is better; 46 or 47?

    I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.

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  • Gay

    What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

    The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

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  • Indian

    If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

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  • Apple

    What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

    Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

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