Joke jokes
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
Why is he ourple?
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
Me: *makes Chuck Norris meme*
Internet: *all the other memes are dead now*
Me: Well, shit.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What did the cow say to the sheep?
“Moo!”
What did the sheep say to the cow?
“That was a bad joke!”
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Guys we should stop making orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad... oh wait... Continue 🙂