Joke

Joke jokes

Peanut

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Cannibal

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Pizza

Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

9/11

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

Yo mama

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

Orphan

We need to stop making jokes about orphans. They will tell their parents. Oh wait...

Kid

What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.

Orphan

Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?

A: A family portrait.

Balance

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

9/11

I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.

Jesus

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.