Joke jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?
Priest: Why?
Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She choked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the fool's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"