Joke jokes

Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?

... she likes to rock and roll lol.

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?

His teeth.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.

What did the emo say before he crossed the road?

"Fuck my life."

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

What do you call an egg murder?

An eggs-terminator!

What did the angry cow say to its enemy?

"We have beef!"

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fish with no eyes.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

What did the cookie say to the milk?

What’s up duud?

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?

I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.

I told a chemist a joke.

No reaction.

Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?

A: Because it will eat your "aunts."