Joke jokes
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
TommyInnit is a joke.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.