Joke jokes
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
Tell me a joke.
My life.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."