Joke jokes
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.