Joke jokes
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
I can't stand disability jokes.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
I have no life, and I have no funny jokes.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"