Joke jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
What do 3-year-old boys say after going to confession?
"My bum hurts!"
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Tell me a joke.
My life.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
What do you say to make a redhead mad?
Anything.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.