Joke jokes
What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
When the school shooter says to get on the ground, but the sped kid thinks it's Simon Says!
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.