Joke jokes
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
I can't stand disability jokes.
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
I have no life, and I have no funny jokes.