Joke jokes
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?
"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
I can't stand disability jokes.
I have no life, and I have no funny jokes.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.