Joke jokes
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.