Joke jokes
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
What's black and yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.