Joke jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
I would like to tell more jokes about 9/11, but they always crash and burn.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
Who killed Hitler goes to Heaven.
*looks up*
Oh, never mind.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.