Joke jokes
Hardest part about being a paedophile?
Fitting in.
Why did the teacher get arrested?
He gave the orphan homework!
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Heaven.
Heaven who?
Heaven fun over there?
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.