Joke Jokes

What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?

I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.

What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?

You've got a lot of problems!

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

What do you call a deer who is funny?

Diraleous.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

What is speedrunner's favorite type of food? FAST FOOD!

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

Russia—the real joke.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

Boo.

"Boo who?"

It's just a joke, no need to cry!

Me: Knock knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Me: Not your family.

My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.