Joke jokes
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
Why did the orphan cross the road? (Not to see his mom or dad.)
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
I don't see why people these days choose their gender. There's only two, it's Nerf or nothing! (I'm just joking, I honestly don't care.)
The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Hereβs another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.