Joke

Joke jokes

Face

Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.

Chin

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

School Shooter

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

Wife

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

Orphan

Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.

Act

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

Orphan

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

But wait, what family? He never had one.

Tool

Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.

Airport

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

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  • Baby

    What is red and cries and spins around and around?

    - A baby in a microwave.

    Mum

    My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

    I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

    Difference

    What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

    Black matter leaves an impact.

    Emo kid

    That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

    Priest

    A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.

    The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"

    Priest

    What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

    One goes limp when a child walks in the room.