Joke jokes
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.