Joke jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker