Joke jokes
Dad: 🦆
Kid: ?
Dad: 🦆🦆
Kid: Huh?
Dad: Ur too late...
Kid: WHAT!
Dad: .... GOOSE!
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
The duck bought lipstick. When he paid, he said, "Put it on my bill."
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
What is yellow and can’t fly?
A school bus.
Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What goes moo? Cow.
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What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
What is the difference between a human and a burger?
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.