Joke Jokes

Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.

What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?

People don't eat their broccoli.

BOB: Wanna know a joke?

LILLY: What? Your hat?

BOB: No, my life :'(

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

Nobody likes that joke.

You are the joke.

The world's funniest joke? Your life.

What's black, white, and red?

A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked, "Where are you going?"

He said, "Camp Bin Laden."

I asked, "What do they do there?"

He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."

I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"

He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."

What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

"Koalafications" are irr-elephant.

Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)

It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

Why did Marx never drink Earl Grey?

Because proper tea is theft.

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Doctor.

Doctor who?

This is funny.

What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"