Joke jokes

Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Police.

Police who?

Police stop telling these awful knock knock jokes!

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?

A: The dead body had a family.

Just.

Old.

Killer.

Epigrams.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

Just look up texting jokes. Don't ask why, just do it.

Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.

Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

Then it all happened.

The fly dropped six inches.

The fish came up and caught the fly.

The bear came out and caught the fish.

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

The mouse went for the sandwich.

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

Student: Ok!!

Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.

What do you call an octopus dad?

An octodad.

What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

Are you guys alright?

If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.

(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)