Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
Joke Jokes
A group of Astronauts, a Mechanic, a Pilot, & a Communications operator are on a very important mission to Mars when one of their solar panels gets grazed by a meteorite.
And so the Astronauts quickly assemble in the hull to wait for orders from the ground. Once the Communications operator turned on coms, their man on the ground told the Pilot to continue their course & to send the Mechanic out to fix the problem. As the Mechanic worked on finishing repairing the solar panel, the Pilot & Communications operator told each other dark jokes when out of nowhere a meteorite field appeared! The Ground operator frighteningly shouted "Get him back in the ship!" to the Communications operator. "Chill out, he'll be fine," The Pilot assured him. "Get him the hell out of there, that's an order!" The Ground operator argued. Then thirty seconds later the Communications operator came back from the air shoot & asked, "Now what?"
What's the difference between a pope/preacher and acne?
Acne comes on your face when you're 13.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
Not a joke but I hope the ones who are making jokes about Mexicans are Mexican themselves, lmao, cuz if you're not, uh... I think we both know what you are. 😟
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
The boy ran into the gym, why?
Because he wanted to ketch-up with everyone. Also, he got pun-ishment from his "momster."
What did the cow say to the prostitute?
Moo.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.