Joke jokes
Hey, Mom, I am ugly.
"Facts," my mom says.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
When the school shooter shoots the autistic kid and he thinks he's having an orgasm.
A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.
His wife asked what that was for.
"It is for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call an alligator detective??
An investi-gator.
#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
Q: What’s a koala's face song? A: Never gonna give you up BECAUSE it hangs on the tree and the person is the tree?
Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.
And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.