My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.
Joke Jokes
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at your pun?
Looks like someone's funny bone is broken. 😁
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
"Spell ICUP."
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Ah, never mind, it's too cheesy.
This is funny.
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.