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There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon!

(9/11 joke)

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    • What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

    Her miscarriage.

    What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

    Aliens vs. Predator

  • 0

    • Three gay guys walk into a bar.

    There is only one stool left, what do they do?

    They flip the stool over.

    A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."

  • 7

    • A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."

  • 0

    • Why did the pedophile cross the road?

    Because there was a school on the other side.

    A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”