Joke jokes

Is your fridge running?

Why yes, it is!

Then you better go catch it!

I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.

I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To end his pain and suffering.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

What do you call a bear without an ear?

B.

What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅

What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!

What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.

My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.

So all his friends came in one car.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?

Nothing, he had no friends.

Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?

Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.

Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?

Sir Cumference.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.