Joke jokes
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I think you're eggcellent!
Q: How much does a skeleton weigh?
A: A skele-TON.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.