Joke jokes
Why did Steven Hawkins go to hell?
Because he couldn't walk the stairs to heaven.
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
What did the dog say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? "Hey, mitosis!"
What's a goat's favorite video game?
Mario Goat Cart!
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.
I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."