Joke jokes
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
My father left me at a young age.
He was only five.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.
Do you guys know why women have small feet? It's because God created them to stand closer to the sink when they wash dishes.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
How are a gay guy and a refrigerator different?
When you pull the meat out of the refrigerator, it doesn’t fart.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."