Joke jokes
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line!
Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There's no menu. You get what you deserve!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh!
What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."