Joke jokes
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Where are people sent to die?
Ross Hall academy.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?