What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
Joke Jokes
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."
Wanna hear a joke? Tin.
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why did the vegetable cross the road? He didn't, he just sat there.
My mom walks in a bar and the bartender says "water?" saying "we only sell beer!"
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
Wanna hear a funny joke?
John's life.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
