Joke jokes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"
And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."
Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"
And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."
And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"
What do you call a bear with no ears? A b.
Yeah, that joke was unbearable.
Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
A man with a mullet walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Shut the hell up with all these Stephen Hawking jokes, hahah. I wanna kms.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.
Your cow is so ugly, it scared the crap out of the toilet!
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"