Joke jokes
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
Your life is the best joke ever.
Stephen Hawking had a heart attack the year before his death.
They took him to PC World for repairs.
I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.