Joke jokes
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?
I can Nazi!
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.