Joke jokes
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What's an Emo's favorite drink?
Water, JK it's cyanide.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
One time in camp, I kissed my bunkmate Bret in the shower. He cupped my breasts and lathered them in Prell, but I'm totally not gay... :)
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.